Personal Contract Hire PCH

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Tales from the Minds of the Muddled Green MPs Personal Contract Hire PCH

In early 2010, in our pre-Conservative, come-Lib Dem, come-who the heck knows anymore Britain, New Labour were still plugging away at their attempts to spend another four years lingering in the murky shadows of Downing Street, picking up the scraps of Tony Blair’s transatlantic obsessions whilst trying to stay upright as Gordon Brown delivered another party conference speech.Personal Contract Hire PCH

After some of the most unimpressive performances from a recent government, following the catastrophes of the MPs’ expense scandals and the recession, the country was left with a government wholly disconnected from the world outside Westminster. But never fear! In our country of cycling MPs, environment-conscious parties and David Cameron, many British politicians took to the streets to secure the title of most Green MP, to reconnect with the disillusioned public. Many, however, seemed less concerned with “being green” than with “being seen”, hopping on a bike or bus for a change with P.R officers whispering in their ears that by plonking their bottom on a bike seat every once in a while was sure to get them noticed.

These green MPs however, whilst being showered with love and praise from every news channel in the country, were almost always escorted by several armoured police units and a half-dozen 4x4s. “Being green”, it seemed, had less to do with one’s CO2 emissions, than with how many shots it could get of you smirking like a smug 6 year old who has received a smiley-face sticker from the dentist.Personal Contract Hire PCH

Personal Contract Hire PCH

As more MPs jumped on the green bandwagon, declaring their dedication to the environment from the front of tabloid newspapers, New Labour continued with more bureaucratic attempts to cut the country’s CO2 emissions; deciding it was time to target the working men and women issued with company cars across the country each day, hence the shift towards cheap personal contract hire (PCH)

As the fatal political D-Day of the 6th of May fast approached, Alistair Darling presented the Labour Budget for the next economic year to a House of Commons brimming with cynical hoots and hollering from the Opposition.Personal Contract Hire PCH

Personal Contract Hire PCH

As Darling delivered what some saw as a hopeless budget endeavour, considering the devastating occurrences of New Labour’s last few stumbling and often clumsy years, Darling continued with his want to reward those using lower emission vehicles, a measure originally set in place back in 2001. Along with the usual buzz-words about efficiency, productivity and effectiveness regarding the reason for the measure, the government issued a somewhat confusing series of instructions regarding VED rates and the taxes on certain vehicles in an attempt to keep buyers and company cars users from registering or using less fuel-efficient vehicles.Personal Contract Hire PCH

The government Personal Contract Hire PCH could sleep well at night, knowing it was doing its bit for the environment as well as raising more than just an eyebrow from more potential cheap personal contract hire customers in the shift away from company cars and the dreaded company car tax burdens.Personal Contract Hire PCH

The system, in use since April 2001, regarding the taxing of vehicles (which excludes cars on cheap personal contract hire) has been split into 13 simple bands, depending entirely on a vehicle’s CO2 emissions, giving people the simple choice of whether to have a green conscience or not.Personal Contract Hire PCH

Personal Contract Hire PCH

However, in an odd and rather meandering way, in 2010 the government continued with its attempts to ward off members of the public and those with company cars from using the less fuel-efficient vehicles Personal Contract Hire PCH , with a measure entitled ‘the first-year rates’: A title which wouldn’t seem unfitting to be used by some quasi-political rock group from the Canary Wharf area.Personal Contract Hire PCH

This meant that any car – except cars purchased outright by individuals or those on cheap personal contract hire – using less than 131 -140 CO2 (g/km) (Bands A-D) would pay no additional tax on their vehicle for their first year, while a vehicle issuing from 131 to over 255 CO2 (g/km) could be charged up to an extra £950, and so on and so forth. So whilst politicians swanned about being issued with brownie points for using a push bike while coughing on the exhaust fumes of their heavily fortified cycle route, the working men and women using company cars – rather than opting for a new car on cheap personal contract hire – and registering vehicles realised they were paying the real price, as the government yet again imposed a measure which prevented people from freely driving what they wished without having the niggling little environment issue pull at their heels and look at them through big puppy dog eyes.Personal Contract Hire PCH

Personal Contract Hire PCH

With the issuing of tables and graphs from different companies and governmental offices to help people understand the numbers; figures are banded around in an attempt to identify how much company car users will be paying. But it seems that the mathematics of working one’s bill out at the end of a company car trip seems so long, laborious and downright difficult, you would have been better opting for a slightly “greener” option by jumping on one of the country’s exceptionally un-efficient train services or opting to take out a new cheap personal contract hire deal.Personal Contract Hire PCH

And perhaps this is entirely what the scheme intends to do: confound every normal person who doesn’t have the mathematical mind of an executive accountant at some fancy firm, so that we all just say “bugger it” and get the bus or choose cheap personal contract hire. Then, we pour more money into the pockets of government and exec types in office blocks towering over London skylines, and die with a couple less hundred quid in our pockets.Personal Contract Hire PCH

Hyperbolic and cynical, but who can be blamed?

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